Parenting Teens
In Marin County, California & online for California Residents
Parenting is not an easy job, especially as your children reach the teen years.
Your child is rapidly changing before your eyes, and there are times you no longer recognize them.
Conflict can arise over the smallest things and take on meaning way beyond the surface. As parents, we often feel overwhelmed, unsure, pissed off, and even blindsided by our teens’ behaviors.
While our “teens are being teens” we sometimes have to look in the mirror and understand how our parenting choices are impacted by our own upbringing, unresolved issues past and present, our daily stressors, and unattended self care habits.
Sometimes as a parent you need to:
Get out of the way and let your teen be who they are, not who you think they should be
Resolve your own adolescent wants, desires and goals without projecting those on your teen
Focus on the life lessons you want them to learn but let go of the outcome
Allow your teen to safely explore independence and teach them to self-advocate
Regulate your own emotions and let go of your self-judgment in difficult parenting moments
Give space for you and your teen to fail and have patience to try again
Apologize when you know you are wrong
Step back and see the bigger picture of what your teen is trying to communicate with you
Connect with the love you have with your teen and tend to the relationship
Realize you are no longer seen as an authority but rather embrace your role as guide and manager
Involve your teen in creating expectations and guidelines for their behavior including the consequences for breaking agreements
Enjoy that you now have less hands-on parenting duties and discover more space and time for pursuing your own self-care practices
No doubt that teens are complicated, but with honesty, compassion and awareness, you can cultivate a more harmonious family dynamic. If you are ready to work as parents, individuals or as a family, reach out for a free consultation.
If you are looking for individual therapy for your teen, here’s how you know they are ready to start:
The obvious–they ask for help
They seem overwhelmed or burned out by school
They no longer seem to take joy in activities they used to love
They seem to be searching for a new “look” or group of friends
They have big changes in eating and/or sleeping habits
They are struggling with body image
They are having difficulty focusing on daily tasks
They seem to define themselves only by their grades or achievements
They obsess over their schoolwork, appearance, or performances and show perfectionistic behaviors
Teens who are ready to show up and do the work can greatly benefit from individual therapy. The challenges that teens face academically, developmentally and socially are a lot to handle on their own and getting them support now can set them on their authentic path that will lead to increased resilience, self-confidence, and sense of purpose.